In Retrospect

"I had to pull over on the highway to write this. Thank you for your hospitality, I love you!

I recently turned 60 years old. I’m lucky to have reached an age to appreciate my 4 grown sons. All are interesting, self sufficient, wonderful adults. Some are married with children of their own, and all have found love and meaning in their lives. Through the years, my responsibility to them and relationship with them has evolved according to their needs and my abilities. I recently found an old paper calendar from a time when we had to color coordinate everyone’s activities to keep track and on schedule. Each son had his own hue to designate school assignments, scouting, music lessons, doctor appointments, Bar mitzvah lessons, sports practices and games, and social events. My hot pink color showed work schedules, volunteer activities, and appointments. Every square had notes, the rainbow filled the page. Our family was so busy; but 25 years later, I barely remember those days. A vague sense of being overwhelmed and urgency, yelling and stress to get somewhere with lightning flashes of accomplishment. I know we had fun and love but I don’t remember enough of those times. I wish I had kept a record of the daily delights I know we had. Thankfully my boys thrived and grew into terrific men who show me how to appreciate the rainbow of joy in my life today. It also really helps that they do their own laundry and make their own dinner."